Just catching up on a a recent post from The New York Times’ Motherlode blog: Not a ‘PTA Mom’ by Jordan Rosenfeld.
I’m glad she’s overcome her irrational prejudices, really I am. But find it amazing that this post had to be written at all. “I envisioned a carefully coifed, cupcake-baking beast of a woman whose pastel capris never bore so much as a smudge of child-effluence, all with a polished smile.” I understand that she exaggerates here for humorous effect, but for heaven’s sake. She also seems a bit unclear on the concept that the PTA is a national organization. I did learn a new term, though: Home and School Association.
There have been several articles this past year or two about parents and school volunteers. Check out Schools Need to Stop Asking So Much of Parents (And Parents Need to Stop Caving) and Ban School Bake Sales, both at Slate. Great click-bait titles, by the way. Lots of anger and resentment. And if you read the comments, this subject really gets people agitated.
Some insist that the obnoxious stereotype is based in truth, holding up their personal anecdotes as evidence. Well, it’s too bad if you have encountered annoying PTA mom types. Obnoxious people are everywhere and we have to grit our teeth and cope with them for the greater good. If you find yourself becoming an annoying stereotypical PTA mom, a little bit to perfectionist and wrapped up in a clique for her own good…well, knock it off already.
People get frustrated with volunteering, too, and rightfully so. There’s an undercurrent of “Well, in Finland, no one has to volunteer because schools are so well-funded and well-run they don’t need volunteers, we should be like that.” Believe me, there are days I would rather be in Helsinki, seasonal affective disorder aside, and never worry about volunteering ever again in my entire life. But unfortunately that is not the case. As parents, we need to deal with the reality of the situation on the ground, which means that International Night won’t get organized and field trips won’t be paid for unless volunteers pull together to organize events and raise funds.
And volunteering also means advocating for change, if you want to achieve that Finland thing. The benefit of the PTA as a large organization is that you have a structure for doing so at a local, state, and national level. Here in Montgomery County, we have a strong county PTA organization. Of course, some areas don’t have that structure. And some school groups (PTOs and HSAs) understandably prefer to keep their efforts focused on their own school; the PTA requires state and county dues, plus not everyone agrees with the National PTA’s overall political stance.
So anyway I would really like to retire this ‘PTA Mom’ stereotype. It’s making it hard for the rest of us just trying to work for our children’s schools, and honestly, it’s misogynistic. It’s part of the noxious, persistent notion that holds traditional “women’s work” (cooking, child care, housekeeping, and yes, school volunteering) in contempt, and I don’t like it one little bit. Let’s be done with it.
What’s so bad about baking cupcakes, anyway?
The Fearless Volunteer 