Category Archives: General Stuff on Volunteering

October 23, 2014 · 9:01 am

Can We Retire This PTA Mom Stereotype, Please?

Just catching up on a a recent post from The New York Times’ Motherlode blog: Not a ‘PTA Mom’ by Jordan Rosenfeld.

I’m glad she’s overcome her irrational prejudices, really I am. But find it amazing that this post had to be written at all. “I envisioned a carefully coifed, cupcake-baking beast of a woman whose pastel capris never bore so much as a smudge of child-effluence, all with a polished smile.” I understand that she exaggerates here for humorous effect, but for heaven’s sake. She also seems a bit unclear on the concept that the PTA is a national organization. I did learn a new term, though: Home and School Association.

There have been several articles this past year or two about parents and school volunteers. Check out Schools Need to Stop Asking So Much of Parents (And Parents Need to Stop Caving) and Ban School Bake Sales, both at Slate. Great click-bait titles, by the way. Lots of anger and resentment. And if you read the comments, this subject really gets people agitated.

Some insist that the obnoxious stereotype is based in truth, holding up their personal anecdotes as evidence. Well, it’s too bad if you have encountered annoying PTA mom types. Obnoxious people are everywhere and we have to grit our teeth and cope with them for the greater good. If you find yourself becoming an annoying stereotypical PTA mom, a little bit to perfectionist and wrapped up in a clique for her own good…well, knock it off already.

People get frustrated with volunteering, too, and rightfully so. There’s an undercurrent of “Well, in Finland, no one has to volunteer because schools are so well-funded and well-run they don’t need volunteers, we should be like that.” Believe me, there are days I would rather be in Helsinki, seasonal affective disorder aside, and never worry about volunteering ever again in my entire life. But unfortunately that is not the case. As parents, we need to deal with the reality of the situation on the ground, which means that International Night won’t get organized and field trips won’t be paid for unless volunteers pull together to organize events and raise funds.

And volunteering also means advocating for change, if you want to achieve that Finland thing. The benefit of the PTA as a large organization is that you have a structure for doing so at a local, state, and national level. Here in Montgomery County, we have a strong county PTA organization. Of course, some areas don’t have that structure. And some school groups (PTOs and HSAs) understandably prefer to keep their efforts focused on their own school; the PTA requires state and county dues, plus not everyone agrees with the National PTA’s overall political stance.

So anyway I would really like to retire this ‘PTA Mom’ stereotype. It’s making it hard for the rest of us just trying to work for our children’s schools, and honestly, it’s misogynistic. It’s part of the noxious, persistent notion that holds traditional “women’s work” (cooking, child care, housekeeping, and yes, school volunteering) in contempt, and I don’t like it one little bit. Let’s be done with it.

What’s so bad about baking cupcakes, anyway?

 

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September 20, 2014 · 11:43 am

Stuck with the Book Fair

It’s that time of year again, when leaves begin to fall and preparations are underway for the annual Scholastic Book Fair. This is a wonderful way to raise funds for the school, get more books for the classroom, and build literacy.

It’s also perhaps one of the most painful tasks that a PTA or parent volunteer group can manage.

Parent volunteers have to publicize the fair, unload the books out of those enormous Dalek-like metal carts (thus dislodging some poor teacher for a week), manage the cash register, and of course pack it all away at the end of the week. Don’t forget about special orders and restocking shelves!

Of course, the vast majority of book fair sales are not books but trinkets: big funny pencils, novelty erasers. A disturbing amount of volunteer time is spent preventing shoplifting. (An ingenious parent at my own school hit upon the idea of hot-gluing a sample of each gee-gaw to a big stand-up display board along with prices so the kids could see the things without putting their grubby mitts on them. The tiny treasures were kept behind the cash register table.)
Another temptation for children: those stupid books with a piece of jewelry or a toy attached to the cover. Better keep those behind the counter too. If the trinket gets separated from the book, it’s a loss.

Let’s also not forget sales tax drama. How many children’s hearts have been broken because they were missing the last seven cents? How many volunteer parents have dug through their pockets, muttering, for that spare change?

So I’ve painted an exhausting picture here. Why again are we bothering with the old-fashioned Book Fair in this day and age? There are alternatives:

  • Scholastic does offer ebooks through its Storia app – or at least, they used to. The Storia app is closing and is only currently available for teachers. (Too bad, we used it at home…)
  • Scholastic also offers an online Book Fair option at the same time as the standard book fair.
  • Barnes & Noble offers a book fair, and while parents have to publicize, it’s held at the store as well as online. A lot less work for parents.

So there are options. But can they really take the place of the good ol’ in-school book fair? Here are a few things to consider.

  • There’s just something about those real books. Kids are tactile. Kids like to touch stuff, including books. And having a home library contributes toward a literate home environment.
  • It’s affordable. Scholastic offers some cheap stuff – much cheaper for the most part, sadly, than most other book stores. I’m certainly not in love with all the gee-gaws and trinkets – and yet, it’s nice to see that a kid with only a dollar to spend can still participate.
  • It’s there. At our school, all the kids are encouraged to visit, once with their class to fill out a wish list and then on their own. Parents don’t have to haul everyone to the store. We also have had success having the fair open for one evening shift, to coincide with a PTA Ice Cream social.
  • It teaches kids about handling money.
  • It makes your school look good. Book Fairs are disruptive, and school administrators are not in love with disruption. Yet they tolerate the Book Fair. Building literacy is one reason; the other reason is that, frankly, it looks good for your school to host a Book Fair. Not all schools have the volunteer support or organization to pull it off.
  • It’s a nice change of pace for kids. Short recesses, lots of seat work, lots of testing, fewer field trips…isn’t it good to have something to make the kids look forward to at school for a change?
  • Not everyone is online. I can’t stress this enough. Not everyone in every community has regular Internet access. Don’t leave a significant part of your neighbors behind.

So, difficult as it is, I think we’re all stuck with the Book Fair for the foreseeable future. And maybe it’s not a bad thing. Now, where did that flyer go?

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April 1, 2014 · 1:59 pm

Musings from a Volunteer Coordinator

As I recover from producing a flurry of emails asking for volunteers, a few things have reminded me to step back from the keyboard and think about the best way to really recruit people to help. Keep some important things in mind going forward as a potential volunteer and someone who needs volunteers.

1. People are busy. For real.

Our school has been hosting an educational evening activity that requires both kids and parents to participate. It’s been very useful, but it’s been a real time commitment as well. When I volunteered in a classroom one day, I asked a kid I knew if he and his mom would make it to the evening activity that night.

The kid said mom got home and went right to sleep, too tired from work.

When I feel impatient about not getting enough volunteer responses, I have to remind myself to back up and look at the big picture. Volunteering is hard, especially after a long day of work. Appreciate the volunteers you do get, and remember that you’re helping to make your school a better place for everybody – especially for that tired mom. No guilt trips allowed.

2. Something that’s easy for me is a huge burden for someone else. And the other way around.

I know a parent who is tireless in her pursuit of donations for our PTA from local businesses. She has the amazing ability to walk up to a business owner and them to sponsor our fun run, or donate a prize for a raffle. I do not seem to have this ability—and I feel guilty sometimes that I don’t.

This parent also does not use email except under extreme duress. She doesn’t always read her email. And I’m okay with that.

That’s the beauty of getting a broad team of volunteers together. We all have strengths and things we like to do or that we’re good at doing. It’s okay to admit that you hate doing something and that you need help.

3. Connecting one-to-one is still important.

Recently I became discouraged when I sent out a request for volunteers to translate flyers, only to be greeted by chirping crickets. But when I took the time to get in touch individually, a magical thing happened: people replied!

Email lists, social media, and online signup sheets are my friends, and will always be my friends. Yet I have received the best response by approaching potential volunteers on a one-to-one basis, whether by phone, in person, or by individual emails. Yes, it takes extra time, but it’s worth it if you can fit it in.

Some reminders to myself that I felt like sharing. No matter what technology or method you use to recruit people, don’t let yourself become so preoccupied with filling slots that lose sight of the big picture. We’re all parents – and we’re all here to help each other make our lives a little easier, right?

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January 20, 2014 · 7:21 pm

The top six reasons you shouldn’t volunteer, and why you should anyway

Happy MLK Day! Since many people are talking about community service today, I thought it would be a good time to step back and remember why volunteering at school is such a pain…and why it’s still worth doing.

1. You’re way too busy.

You see the same faces everywhere, running events and meetings. These parents don’t seem to have a life, and you don’t have their time or energy. You have a job, your own kids to care for, hundreds of chores and errands to do, plus a vague hope of having a life. Join the club.

But here’s the flip side: more volunteers would mean different faces. Many hands equal light work: it’s a tired old phrase, yet it has a kernel of truth. 

The good news is that any tiny bit you can do helps. Pick up an extra batch of juice boxes to sell at a function. Go to an after-work meeting. Help from home by performing annoying computer tasks such as managing the email group or entering member info. Maybe once you see what’s involved, taking on a leadership role won’t feel so intimidating – especially if you have help.

2. Someone else will do it.

It would be nice if every school had an army of bonbon-eating, soap-opera-watching, martini-drinking stay-at-home parents with limitless time to run things. Unfortunately, we are no longer in 1959. And remember that the at-home parents are dealing with their own lives and problems and babies too.

At some point the current set of parents in charge of your PTA are going to get burned out (see Number 1), get new jobs, move away, or move on as their kids grow up. If you think an event or activity is important, speak up. If you don’t, there’s a good chance no one else will either.

Plus, if you get involved and go to meetings, you have earned the legitimate right to grouse and complain. And that, my friends, is priceless.

3. The PTA/PTO leadership is annoying.

Yeah, I hear you. They’re a bunch of mean girls or control freaks. They’re a clique. Sadly, any company or organization run by human beings is going to be full of annoying people. But if the reasonable people (like you and me, of course) don’t get involved, you’re letting the annoying people win. You’ve worked with irritating people before and lived to tell the tale – you can do it again for the sake of your kids’ school.

Also, there may be a slight chance they’re not as annoying as you think.

They may just feel beleaguered and burned out. They may not know how to ask for help. Don’t let it be a self-perpetuating cycle – grit your teeth and shove your way in. You may be in for a pleasant surprise.

4. I feel uncomfortable/intimidated/unwelcome.

Well, see Number 4 about difficult parents. Just remember that PTA parents are just like you: confused, overworked, but mostly well-meaning parents trying to make your school a better place. Shoulder your way in.

Sometimes meetings and events are scheduled during the day, making working parents feel unwelcome. Sometimes that’s a limitation imposed by space availability or cost – in Montgomery County, PTAs have to rent space in their own schools for most events and meetings. If it’s just a matter of “Well, this is how we’ve always done it,” then push back. If you can’t go to meetings, send emails.

You don’t need special skills or education, either. There’s no such thing as a professional volunteer. Everyone has something to contribute, and the most important thing is your time or energy. Your county or state PTAs often provide free training.

In my kids’ diverse school, language and culture issues come up, and they can be tough. It’s intimidating to volunteer if you’re not comfortable with your English. At one meeting, one immigrant parent told our board that the whole concept of volunteering in your child’s school is unfamiliar to many newcomers to our country. We try to address this at our PTA by recruiting Spanish-speaking parents as members and volunteers, having flyers translated into Spanish, and making sure meetings have someone who can translate. When more Spanish-speaking parents (or parents from other backgrounds) join and get involved, there’s more incentive for your group and school to work with you and accommodate you.

In short: This is your child’s school. You’re welcome, and don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.

5. This takes time away from my own kids.

It looks that way at first. However, your kids spend a lot of their waking hours at school. If something benefits the school as a whole, it will benefit your kid.

Everyone hates fundraising,  but the hard truth is that schools rely on PTO and PTA fundraising efforts for extras (field trips, indoor recess games) and necessary items. And if you just want to volunteer in your child’s classroom, often the parent volunteer groups partner with schools and provide the structure for that to happen.

On a larger scale, PTOs and PTAs advocate for your school and your kids. That’s their mission. They help parents have a voice at their school and their communities. The administration might not realize something is an issue until it’s delicately brought up at a PTA meeting. And then there are the big issues of budgets and policies. At our school, for example,  the PTA provided a forum for parents to advocate for a renovated building before county officials.

By volunteering you will also have a better grasp of what’s going on in your children’s school: events, special opportunities, politics, and, of course, gossip. Now, your kid is not entitled to special white-glove treatment, but you as a parent will be better informed and better prepared.

6. I hate this doing all this volunteer junk. I can’t bake, I hate organizing events, and I’m an introvert.

I understand completely. But again, we’re no longer in the year 1959 and parent volunteers are not expected to be Mrs. Cleaver. The nice part is that you can volunteer in in a way that’s comfortable for you and that plays to your strengths. I don’t like making phone calls, but I like sending emails. I don’t like planning event but I like working on the web site. I’ve learned some skills and made some friends. And I feel much more connected with my community and my kids’ education.

No, volunteering is not always easy or fun. But it is worthwhile.

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December 16, 2013 · 1:28 pm

The Persistence of Paper, Part 2

Just a follow up from my first post the other day on the necessary evil of photocopies. The ugly flip side of paper: the cost.

If your school’s policy allows you to use the school photocopier, you’re in luck! Still, your organization has to pay for the paper, and we all know about the poor old trees that give their lives in order for us to make newsletters. Our elementary school has asked the PTA to send all of its announcements in yellow to make them stand out…but it’s more expensive. If possible, we try to make our flyers into half-sheets to cut back on paper.

Unfortunately, most of our schools are not exactly rolling in piles of money like Scrooge McDuck. Photocopiers are expensive pieces of machinery to maintain. Many parent groups have to take responsibility for their own copies. They either have to suck it up and put it in the budget, or find other funding. Here’s a short discussion I found at PTO Today about a PTO being charged for photocopies. (They’re a good resource for parent groups, by the way, and it’s free to browse their site.)

Many school directories rely on sponsor advertising to publish their student directories. I would be very interested to find out if other parent groups out there have had luck finding photocopy sponsors from among local businesses.

Of course, the best long-term solution is reducing paper: communicating via email lists, social media, and an up-to-date web site. Convert flyers to PDFs. Know your school’s population and what they can access. The point of it all is to keep your families informed and involved, no matter what it takes.

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December 13, 2013 · 4:28 pm

Welcome to the Fearless Volunteer…and Thoughts on Paper

Thanks for dropping by. This is a space to discuss the nitty-gritty, unglamorous administrative side of being a parent volunteer. (Come to think of it, there’s actually no such thing as a glamorous side.) For more about me, see About Me.

For my first post in a blog about how technology can help parent volunteers, I’d like to start off by stating the obvious: sometimes you’re stuck with paper.

Know your school community before you go for a shiny, high-tech solution. Do all families have regular online access? At our neighborhood Title One school, many families simply don’t have daily access to the Internet. So we use Facebook and  web site and an email group to keep everyone in touch. But we have no choice but to keep sending out paper flyers (translated into Spanish as well) in kids’ backpacks to communicate about events, meeting, and volunteer needs. Otherwise we risk alienating a huge proportion of our neighbors.

If you’re at a smaller school with a population that’s easy to keep track of, you can have an opt-in/opt-list for paper flyers and newsletters to reduce your time copying and sorting. If (like me) your kids attend a big school with a constantly shifting population, that may not be easy. Many schools do have issues with privacy as well and are squirrelly about releasing student information.

If you’re stuck with paper copies, make it less painful. These tips may sound obvious but they come from years of hard-won experience and annoyance:

  • Make nice with your office staff who give you the distribution lists. Be mindful of their time and give them lots of notice Shower them with praise, thanks, and gifts.
  • If you’re making copies on the school photocopier, give the staff and teachers priority.
  • Rotate who does the photocopying. When you’re recruiting volunteers, aim for a group of people who have daytime availability to do this annoying task. Or, if you are lucky enough to find someone to chair an event, make sure they know the system for getting out photocopies.
  • Know your school policy on flyers. Here in Montgomery County, there is a Flyer Distribution Policy for other nonprofit organizations. This example does not apply to parent-teacher groups, but it’s still a good idea to know what’s acceptable.
  • Does your school have an automatic phone call/email system? (Here in Montgomery County, we use Connect Ed.) Get into the routine of getting your events or news onto their announcements.

I won’t say “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” There’s always room for improvement. If you’re at a small school where parents show up everyday to pick up or drop off kids, maybe the low-tech paper sign-up sheet on the bulletin board is still the best solution. But try an online sign up in addition. Recognize that sometimes even in the twenty-first century you have to take baby steps away from paper.

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