Happy MLK Day! Since many people are talking about community service today, I thought it would be a good time to step back and remember why volunteering at school is such a pain…and why it’s still worth doing.
1. You’re way too busy.
You see the same faces everywhere, running events and meetings. These parents don’t seem to have a life, and you don’t have their time or energy. You have a job, your own kids to care for, hundreds of chores and errands to do, plus a vague hope of having a life. Join the club.
But here’s the flip side: more volunteers would mean different faces. Many hands equal light work: it’s a tired old phrase, yet it has a kernel of truth.
The good news is that any tiny bit you can do helps. Pick up an extra batch of juice boxes to sell at a function. Go to an after-work meeting. Help from home by performing annoying computer tasks such as managing the email group or entering member info. Maybe once you see what’s involved, taking on a leadership role won’t feel so intimidating – especially if you have help.
2. Someone else will do it.
It would be nice if every school had an army of bonbon-eating, soap-opera-watching, martini-drinking stay-at-home parents with limitless time to run things. Unfortunately, we are no longer in 1959. And remember that the at-home parents are dealing with their own lives and problems and babies too.
At some point the current set of parents in charge of your PTA are going to get burned out (see Number 1), get new jobs, move away, or move on as their kids grow up. If you think an event or activity is important, speak up. If you don’t, there’s a good chance no one else will either.
Plus, if you get involved and go to meetings, you have earned the legitimate right to grouse and complain. And that, my friends, is priceless.
3. The PTA/PTO leadership is annoying.
Yeah, I hear you. They’re a bunch of mean girls or control freaks. They’re a clique. Sadly, any company or organization run by human beings is going to be full of annoying people. But if the reasonable people (like you and me, of course) don’t get involved, you’re letting the annoying people win. You’ve worked with irritating people before and lived to tell the tale – you can do it again for the sake of your kids’ school.
Also, there may be a slight chance they’re not as annoying as you think.
They may just feel beleaguered and burned out. They may not know how to ask for help. Don’t let it be a self-perpetuating cycle – grit your teeth and shove your way in. You may be in for a pleasant surprise.
4. I feel uncomfortable/intimidated/unwelcome.
Well, see Number 4 about difficult parents. Just remember that PTA parents are just like you: confused, overworked, but mostly well-meaning parents trying to make your school a better place. Shoulder your way in.
Sometimes meetings and events are scheduled during the day, making working parents feel unwelcome. Sometimes that’s a limitation imposed by space availability or cost – in Montgomery County, PTAs have to rent space in their own schools for most events and meetings. If it’s just a matter of “Well, this is how we’ve always done it,” then push back. If you can’t go to meetings, send emails.
You don’t need special skills or education, either. There’s no such thing as a professional volunteer. Everyone has something to contribute, and the most important thing is your time or energy. Your county or state PTAs often provide free training.
In my kids’ diverse school, language and culture issues come up, and they can be tough. It’s intimidating to volunteer if you’re not comfortable with your English. At one meeting, one immigrant parent told our board that the whole concept of volunteering in your child’s school is unfamiliar to many newcomers to our country. We try to address this at our PTA by recruiting Spanish-speaking parents as members and volunteers, having flyers translated into Spanish, and making sure meetings have someone who can translate. When more Spanish-speaking parents (or parents from other backgrounds) join and get involved, there’s more incentive for your group and school to work with you and accommodate you.
In short: This is your child’s school. You’re welcome, and don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.
5. This takes time away from my own kids.
It looks that way at first. However, your kids spend a lot of their waking hours at school. If something benefits the school as a whole, it will benefit your kid.
Everyone hates fundraising, but the hard truth is that schools rely on PTO and PTA fundraising efforts for extras (field trips, indoor recess games) and necessary items. And if you just want to volunteer in your child’s classroom, often the parent volunteer groups partner with schools and provide the structure for that to happen.
On a larger scale, PTOs and PTAs advocate for your school and your kids. That’s their mission. They help parents have a voice at their school and their communities. The administration might not realize something is an issue until it’s delicately brought up at a PTA meeting. And then there are the big issues of budgets and policies. At our school, for example, the PTA provided a forum for parents to advocate for a renovated building before county officials.
By volunteering you will also have a better grasp of what’s going on in your children’s school: events, special opportunities, politics, and, of course, gossip. Now, your kid is not entitled to special white-glove treatment, but you as a parent will be better informed and better prepared.
6. I hate this doing all this volunteer junk. I can’t bake, I hate organizing events, and I’m an introvert.
I understand completely. But again, we’re no longer in the year 1959 and parent volunteers are not expected to be Mrs. Cleaver. The nice part is that you can volunteer in in a way that’s comfortable for you and that plays to your strengths. I don’t like making phone calls, but I like sending emails. I don’t like planning event but I like working on the web site. I’ve learned some skills and made some friends. And I feel much more connected with my community and my kids’ education.
No, volunteering is not always easy or fun. But it is worthwhile.
The Fearless Volunteer 